My first chapter of my first fantasy novel: Born Behind the Veil! I am 13 chapters in, but am sharing the #1.
It is a duo POV (meaning to points of view that it swishes between. Title: Chapter 1 Lights and Shadows: Razi
Suddenly, large shadows and glowing colors of blue and green drifted over the barn, breaking me out of my trance. I could hear the rush of wind, like the sound of wings flapping. No bird I had ever seen cast a shadow that massive. I froze as the shadows and lights went over the roof, then vanished as they passed behind me.
My name is Razi Birdsong.
I am twelve years old, I’m an incredible liar (and proud of it too), and I’m practically an orphan. That part isn’t a lie; I won’t do that to you.
My mom died giving birth to my sister Lumi, who is now one year old. My dad used to visit me and Mom once a year, but I haven’t seen or heard…
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I am open to any feedback or constructive criticism you might have!!! I will take notes of what everyone says so when I go back through to revise and edit it, I can keep it in mind and take into consideration common suggestions.
I would especially enjoy hearing feedback on these if u don't mind:
Favorite part and least favorite part and why, if the beginning is confusing, what you think of the characters, and if it seems realistic (I mean realistic for a fantasy novel lol; like does it make sense and have a good storyline so far and a good hook!!!)